How quickly am I shifting into a new gear? I’m not sure. I’m not depressed like I was in August-October. I am satisfied with my work at the clinic even though it routinely angers me. It is just too much, everyday too much. People are too sick, and too much is needed from the 20-minutes I am allotted for them. And their paperwork for worker’s comp or for government housing assistance, or figuring out what happened to them at the hospital whose records I can’t locate. And waiting for and interacting with interpreters who are so tragically burned, that they drag out the introductions and pause unnecessarily because they are on the clock. Or that’s my interpretation. “What’s your center number?” “And your phone number?” “Thank you for using our services, everything you say will be held in strict confidence, blah, blah, blah, I’m ready for you to begin.” It’s terrible. It makes me want to learn Laotian and Swahili even though it’s the Spanish interpreters I’m talking about. I could probably pass the Spanish test to stop using interpreters, but I still appreciate being able to give advice in english and trust the translation rather than doing that with my brain too.

Anyways. My mind-body skills groups are off and it feels like it is going really well. I’m excited to have that grounded, and haven’t quite got to planning or imagining the next ones yet. I went to San Diego this last weekend for a “Heal the Healer” retreat hosted by 2 doctors and the AIHM (Academy of Integrative Health and Medicine). They intended to offer ketamine, but lectured about non-ordinary states of consciousness, the latest research that shows promising results for MDMA and we sat in a cacao ceremony instead. We danced and did qi going. We journaled about possible futures from ourselves, and read letters from our friends about our best qualities. It was a lovely weekend. There were about 15-20 participants, mostly physicians, but nutritionists, pharmacists, and yoga teachers too. I can imagine facilitating something longer and deeper in MN, IA or Hawaii, and soon. This work is needed, and I can delight in it. So that may be what’s next. Stay tuned.