Busy. I have had a full plate, and there are lots of projects in the works that aren’t getting the time they need right now. When there is more space in my life, I would like to say more about them here. One of them might be a website that becomes a portal to my services.

I am inclined to start a round of MBSGs in August. The most recent cycle was the smallest group so far, and it still worked very well in some ways. I think if I spent some time figuring out how I am really aiming to market these groups, at some point it will develop a kind of ease.

I am also aiming to host a 3-night in-person retreat at the end of August, in preparation for another one at the end of November. This also needs more attention to clarify who is supposed to be there, and then to do the marketing/recruiting work.

Tomorrow I begin the last week of a musical theater intensive that has been taking most of my energy for the last 2 weeks. I am glad to participate, but it will be a relief to reclaim my old schedule.

I am on retreat, contemplating a future life for myself. I want it to be integrated, so that even though I do many things, they all kind of work together. I’m imagining 3 major offerings: in-person retreats, online Mind-Body Skills Groups, and individualized Subtle Medicine appointments. There is probably also a gap for blogs, videos and podcast episodes. I think about the use of Twitter, Substack, Facebook, YouTube and others. I know some people use LinkTree, and maybe I should get one.

I learned from an SEO expert that I am on the “wrong” version of WordPress. He is a big fan of the .org site, but less so for this .com version. Some people use Wix or Squarespace to design websites. He likes WordPress for it’s SEO adaptations. But I have to buy my own domain rather than using this free version. Maybe I am almost ready for that.

Hello! I have been busy with many projects and I haven’t been writing here. I think it might help me to place some of my thoughts here, even if it isn’t totally clear what this space is, or who it is for.

I have an unusual medical career. As I think about what I’d really like to do, it seems likely it will become even moreso. At times, I do feel isolated in the strangeness of the things I am trying to accomplish. And it could be that writing is one process that helps me with this need for understanding myself.

It’s almost June, 2023. I have scheduled a lot of travel for myself this summer. I also recently brought a puppy into my home. These two facts typically might not be compatible. But I have an atypical drive to make things work, even if the form is quite non-traditional. I live in a community house, and I am thinking about ways to bring in more pet-caregiving humans.

One of the big trips is a physician retreat for entrepreneurs. I have not been clear about my own business plan, and I suspect that taking some time away to focus on that will help. For now, my income is coming from conventional medicine, working 3 days a week as a primary doctor at a low-income clinic. The sprout of my dream are the weekly Mind-Body skills groups that I lead on Zoom. I’m halfway through the 6th cycle, and there have been a balance of benefits and challenges. I do still see a path forward that includes these groups, but I am longing to improve the way I market them. So far, it has been a labor-intensive, personalized process of emails and phone calls with hand-selected participants. It has been a challenge to get the commitment and level of participation that would really make the groups most effective. It can feel discouraging for the work to feel undervalued by the participants. But, it is a passion project. Maybe it is still in its infancy and it will hum better when the process is more refined?

Another passion that I’m trying to give more of my time and energy, is music. I am aiming to grow both as an individual performer (singer, musician), and as a facilitator of group singing. They are related but distinct crafts. I am planning to perform at a house show next Wednesday, and hopefully more regularly in the year ahead after that.

So again, what is this blog space for? It’s sort of like a private social media feed. I am using Facebook and Twitter. But I don’t want to bore 99% of my “friends” (FB connections) with these updates. And, I do want to share them. So whoever you are that might be reading, I appreciate you for that. Until next time!

You are invited!

Hello, I am preparing to lead the next round of weekly Mind-Body Skills Groups (MBSGs). This will be the 6th cycle of groups I have led. The first meeting will be the 2nd week of April and we will plan to continue for at least 8 weeks, and could extend up to 12 weeks if desired by the majority of the group. Please contact me if you would like to be one of the 6-8 participants. I completed training to facilitate these groups from the Center for Mind-Body Medicine, and I am pursuing Certification which means I will have a mentor who I process our group experience with. For more information describing these groups, check their website:

https://cmbm.org/onlinegroup/

Why am I offering this?

I know that leading these groups is part of the way forward for me as I transition from conventional medicine work into what’s next. Sometimes I call that “Subtle Medicine”, “Mind-Body Medicine”, or “Wellness Entrepreneurship”. In the future, I would like to lead 5-10 day healing retreats for healthcare workers to address trauma and burnout. For this group, I am especially interested in recruiting potential collaborators for the future retreats that I host.

What To Expect During Group Visits

We will meet on Zoom in a virtual sacred circle. Please be in a private location where you can bring your full attention for our two-hour sessions. We will start with a simple relaxing breathing technique, and go over guidelines for our time together. There will be time for introductions, and “check-ins” for every group. Anything shared will be confidential.

Each week, we will practice one technique of self-exploration, and then share about our experience with the group. These techniques can provide powerful insights in a group setting even for individuals with vast experience with similar techniques. They are also accessible to beginners and thus adaptable for many different kinds of groups.

The group will end on time, and we will close with a gentle relaxation technique. My role is to manage time, lead activities, and support all participants for the best group experience. I am not serving as a therapist or doctor for anyone in the group. Instead we are trusting and allowing for insights and healing to occur spontaneously. Borrowing from Stella Eisenstein’s “Resonant Attention” technique, we are leaning in for miracles. As a facilitator, I will also participate in the exercises and share my experiences.    

Price, Commitment

It is important to commit to attending all (most) sessions because spaces are limited. At this time, I am happy to receive financial gifts as an energy exchange, and the range of $300-$600 would be appropriate. Please let me know if this price point does not feel accessible, and we can discuss alternatives.

At this time, I am not planning to advertise or promote these groups to the public. You came to mind because I would like to work with you, or you were referred because our friend thought you might be a good fit. Please contact me by email (ddietle12@gmail.com) or phone (402-686-0259) to confirm your spot in the group. I would like to have a conversation on the phone with each participant before April 9th.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you can join me!

How quickly am I shifting into a new gear? I’m not sure. I’m not depressed like I was in August-October. I am satisfied with my work at the clinic even though it routinely angers me. It is just too much, everyday too much. People are too sick, and too much is needed from the 20-minutes I am allotted for them. And their paperwork for worker’s comp or for government housing assistance, or figuring out what happened to them at the hospital whose records I can’t locate. And waiting for and interacting with interpreters who are so tragically burned, that they drag out the introductions and pause unnecessarily because they are on the clock. Or that’s my interpretation. “What’s your center number?” “And your phone number?” “Thank you for using our services, everything you say will be held in strict confidence, blah, blah, blah, I’m ready for you to begin.” It’s terrible. It makes me want to learn Laotian and Swahili even though it’s the Spanish interpreters I’m talking about. I could probably pass the Spanish test to stop using interpreters, but I still appreciate being able to give advice in english and trust the translation rather than doing that with my brain too.

Anyways. My mind-body skills groups are off and it feels like it is going really well. I’m excited to have that grounded, and haven’t quite got to planning or imagining the next ones yet. I went to San Diego this last weekend for a “Heal the Healer” retreat hosted by 2 doctors and the AIHM (Academy of Integrative Health and Medicine). They intended to offer ketamine, but lectured about non-ordinary states of consciousness, the latest research that shows promising results for MDMA and we sat in a cacao ceremony instead. We danced and did qi going. We journaled about possible futures from ourselves, and read letters from our friends about our best qualities. It was a lovely weekend. There were about 15-20 participants, mostly physicians, but nutritionists, pharmacists, and yoga teachers too. I can imagine facilitating something longer and deeper in MN, IA or Hawaii, and soon. This work is needed, and I can delight in it. So that may be what’s next. Stay tuned.

A brief update for now. Very big progress on The Good Life Clinic. I have started the Mind-Body Skills Groups series on 1/2/23. I was successful in recruiting 10 participants, and that feels like a big win after lots of work. It will run through January and February. I would like to plan other groups during this time while that first one is running. I continue to work 3 (half) days a week at the clinic, and it feels like my full capacity to do that for now.

I have my “The Good Life Clinic” Facebook page which I have also used for updates on this project. I imagine making a website is in my future. This WordPress blog is kind of doing that for now. I would love to have something written up to describe the work that I do with people one-on-one. It’s not medical care, it’s “health coach”. It is Subtle Medicine work. It is listening, and it is paid by the hour. What is my rate? Is okay to be on a gift economy sliding scale? Yes. Is okay to charge $100/hour? Yes. That feels good. Would it be okay to increase my rates to $150, or even up to $300? Perhaps in time. But $100 feels groovy for now.

I’m going to a physician wellness retreat in San Diego this weekend that is being hosted by 2 doctors from the Academy of Integrative Health and Medicine (AIHM). “Heal the Healer” is what they’ve called it, and it includes emotional and spiritual work, yoga, poetry, a cacao circle and dancing. Right up my alley. I am curious who I will meet by going to this event? That’s all for now.

This blog platform has been valuable to me in the past as a place to collect ideas about being a doctor, and I think I would like to use it more frequently again, with a slightly new aim. I continue to work part time “within the system” as a family medicine doctor in an FQHC clinic. I continue to have a dream of practicing medicine in a “new” way, that at times seems substantial enough to make walking away from the old structure seem like an obvious choice. There can be so many challenges to navigate working within the system, and others that arise with career transitions. I know there are many people who would like to be in my corner, but often neither they nor I know how they can help. A good step is to write this blog for them (you) and to invite them (you) to read it.

I am planning for my next round of MBSGs. I have sent out about 20 invitations, and have 4 confirmed participants. I think the ideal size is 8-10, but for this particular round, I am committing to do it with whatever size group I end up with. My intention was to invite participants who feel like a “Mastermind Group” to me who are particularly interested in my personal transformation story as a doctor, or who are in wellness entrepreneurship themselves to build a happy little cohort. But I wonder how much flexibility to roll with the way things flow should be balanced with my original intention? I spoke about the groups with a friend at a child’s birthday party, and after a dance workship with folks who made sense to include. It is often much more difficult to communicate the value of these groups than it is for me to see and feel why a person might benefit from participating. I have been asked recently by a business coach to more clearly name the benefit for the participants or clients. This has been a step that I have resisted in the past for feeling too much like sales. Maybe it is a kind of stubbornness that has been impeding me from more easily attracting clients/participants to the groups I am offering?

So a question I am still working on, is who is this next MBSG for? While I set out to build a mastermind group for myself, when I am asked about the benefit for the clients, it seems odd for them to come to support me. They have to come for their own benefit. And these benefits can overlap, but it seems cleaner and true if the group I am offering is designed for the benefit of that participants rather than for myself. Aha! And I still CAN build a mastermind group, but it is just going to be a different process than leading a MBSG group. And by writing about it here on the blog, maybe I can identify my masterminds and build that group in a different way, on a different time scale.

As recently as a few weeks ago, I was feeling increased clarity that I would want to move more fully into doing “new medicine” work, and allowing the old pattern of seeing patients using my medical license to fall away. But in the last two weeks, I have had surprisingly satisfying and meaningful experiences in the clinic that tilt me back into my holding pattern of continuing part-time clinic work while setting up the group visits on the side. (While I also have to name that the days are still exhausting, overfull and HARD. Sometimes I like doing hard things, and “how much of a challenge am I supposed to metabolize?”)

It seems that an important step will be how do I more easily recruit more people to these groups in the future? If I can imagine a broader pool of potential clients (I’m going to stick with that term for now, instead of “participants” in the MBSGs), but I need to create tools like a website that help share the message of who I am and what I am offering. If I had 30 clients ready to go this week, I think leading the groups for them would be no problem (except that I’d be overstretched on time with my current commitments at the clinic.) I don’t think I have to reduce my hours in order to make progress. But I am going to have to decide if I want to keep a foot in that doorway or not. If you consider a full-time doctor to be working 4 full days a week, then my 3 half days could count for 37.5% time. That feels wise and good and fortunate to be able to do that. But I want to cut it to 25%. It would really make such a big difference for me. It would make it easy to add a second group to my week. 1 group a week feels possible with 3 work days. 2 groups feel like they fit with 2 work days without me getting overstretched.

This blog might get long-winded at times. It’s helpful for me to share about this process. I do hope it has value for you, the reader. I guess if you’d like to be supportive, you can let me know by leaving comments.

That’s all for now, more ahead! Thanks for reading.

You are invited!

Hello, I am preparing to lead a weekly Mind-Body Skills Group (MBSG) on Monday mornings from 9:30-11:30am (CT) on Zoom. This will be the 5th cycle of groups I have led. The first meeting will be 1/2/23 and we will plan to end on 2/27/23, though we could decide to add extra sessions if desired by the group. Please contact me if you would like to be one of the 8-10 participants. I completed training to facilitate these groups from the Center for Mind-Body Medicine, and more information describing these groups is available on their website:

https://cmbm.org/onlinegroup/

Why now?

The last group I led was in Spring ‘22, and the group I was planning for the Summer didn’t come together. My own energy dissipated and got lost between struggling with work and navigating the transitions at a new house. I know that leading these groups is part of the way forward for me as I transition from conventional medicine work into what’s next. Sometimes I call that “Subtle Medicine”, mind-body medicine, or wellness entrepreneurship. I feel energy around a “mastermind group” that includes individuals especially interested in my process or who are working on wellness entrepreneurship themselves.

What To Expect During Group Visits

We will meet on Zoom in a virtual sacred circle. Please be in a private location where you can bring your full attention for our two-hour sessions. We will start with a simple relaxing breathing technique, and go over guidelines for our time together. There will be time for introductions, and “check-ins” for every group. Anything shared will be confidential.

Each week, we will practice one technique of self-exploration, and then share about our experience with the group. These techniques can provide powerful insights in a group setting even for individuals with vast experience with similar techniques. They are also accessible to beginners and my facilitation will adapt them to the group.

The group will end on time, and we will close with a gentle relaxation technique. My role is to manage time, lead activities, and support all participants for the best group experience. I am not serving as a therapist or doctor for anyone in the group. Instead we are trusting and allowing for insights and healing to occur spontaneously. Borrowing from Stella Eisenstein’s Resonant Attention technique, we are leaning in for miracles. As a facilitator, I will also participate in the exercises and share my experiences.    

Price, Commitment

It is important to commit to attending all (most) sessions because spaces are limited. I plan to adapt these Mind-Body Skills groups for other audiences and to perhaps someday set a fee as part of a business model that frees me from other employment. At this time, I am happy to receive financial gifts as an energy exchange, but it is not required. I feel fully supported by your presence in the group alone. 

Please be in touch to confirm your spot in the group. I would like to have a conversation on the phone with each participant before Dec 26th if possible, and before the Jan 2nd start if needed.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you can join me.

Okay. There have been some updates to my journey. In some ways, it doesn’t seem to amount to a lot, but each little step is part of it, and I decided it was worth sharing. The latest development is that I am deciding to continue working at the clinic. Over the last few weeks, I had been having thoughts that I would be ready to exit and make room for something new. I was feeling that the job was taking so much from me despite the modest commitment of only 15 hours a week. I thought of it in spiritual terms, and how perhaps my soul was ready for a leap of faith into a new path that would have better alignment.

And honestly, because I was considering this route, all sorts of old baggage that had previously been shelved and forgotten came roaring back in a way that zapped my energy and sent my emotional body and thinking into the gutter. How overwhelming it feels to walk away from the livelihood where I had invested so many years and educational dollars? The unsolved question of how I would make my mortgage payments once the clinic paychecks stopped? The shedding of a professional identity that may not be my primary form, but it is a significant one, and it would be missed.

So I’m not doing it. Not yet. I don’t think the path is for me to intentionally overwhelm myself. I checked it out, and I need to unpack several issues and heal towards a more stable foundation for when I take on that life-shifting transition. And that feels clear and good and easy.

And while work has been challenging, and exhausting and overwhelming, I can re-frame how there is still a lot for me to learn and experience there rather than just feeling pummeled and abused. I don’t know how long that will continue to be true, but it is for right now.

The last few weeks have taxed me. My sense of this human journey is ever shifting. I’m not sure that I can tell the story. There is an audience in mind that might be blocking the narrator from telling the real story. How is the body and the mind and the spirit connected? What is my relationship to healing and to health? What am I trying to do for clients? Who is reading this and what purpose does it serve for them?

Well, what feels unique about my experience is that I chose to go to medical school and I even completed residency to work in a system that I have always been disillusioned by. And yet, my criticism grows stronger still as time goes by to now reach this critical threshold where I see that I am not supposed to stay in this system.

It benefits me to go to work 3 days a week and support my life financially with the professional work that I have made a big commitment to attain. There are times where I feel confident that I am doing the best I can within a broken system to treat people seeking care with compassion.

But, there is a significant limitation which is that I am playing into the legitimacy of the system by being there. And the system has a faulty foundation. This can be felt on a gestalt level, but it is hard to succinctly explain what the problem is. And there is the complication of the reality that the medical system still does serve some purpose. So can it be enough to say that it does not suit my purposes, and so I am moving on?

What does it mean to be a human being on this planet? More and more I am coming to see that this is a spiritual journey and that God is the source and that within our world, that the fall is real and that many are living under the control of the enemy. The enemy to our souls, to our freedom. And I am self-conscious that this reasoning will appear absurd to many who may criticize me. But it is my view that human life is a gift and that we have to grow by listening to our soul. And in my case, I see that there is work to do in supporting human beings with all that I know, and not to be bound by the limits of the medical system, which increasingly is asking practitioners to violate their consciousnesses. 

The issue is the COVID-19 vaccine for kids. We have to see that the efforts to promote that shot came from the same coercive, powerful institutions that have been pulling strings for so long. An individual physician who would criticize the groupthink becomes ostracized culturally and professionally. Mattias Desmet has done a brilliant job analyzing the elements of mass delusional psychosis, the warnings of totalitarianism, and even offered concrete ways of pushing back.

For me, as a physician, to see that I cannot continue to work in the job that is currently supporting me, causes me to feel overwhelmed. I feel exhausted, mentally unfocused, sad, unmotivated and afraid. Those feelings cause my thinking to warp into negative territory where any lofty dreams or ambitions I might have had become an absurdity to me. It is a lousy place, and it feels awfully lonely or isolating.

But I know (KNOW) that there are so many other healthcare workers out there who share a similar fear, and that if I might move through it, that I can help others too. The skills I am most interested in relate to calming down the autonomic nervous system and building an inner capacity for metabolizing stressful situations. These skills are often free and they can be taught in a group format. A group that has the capacity to hold challenges has many benefits for all members.

So what I am going to do is host a weekly MBSG. I’m going to host it for members of NAAS, and anyone who is interested in learning more about how we can mindfully be with the body and more successfully navigate challenging situations.

It feels perhaps ironic that I have been facing what may be the biggest obstacles I have experienced in this current process. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I wonder how I can lead others in this process that is designed to lead us back into balance. For me, I think part of the answer is being honest. I am not inviting participants in because I have it all figured out and I’m in bliss. I have been in the lower realms and I am not afraid to share that too.